Vogon Poetry: In Honor of a 42nd Birthday

My friend Coral turns 42 today. She decided to have herself a Image result for vogon poetry image -band -musicDouglas Adams/Hitchhiker’s Guide birthday party, and, among other things, invited people to recite Vogon Poetry if they’d like.

“What, exactly, is Vogon Poetry?”, you may ask.  And if you are asking, then you obviously have not read that Douglas Adams classic, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Wherein we learn that Vogon Poetry is the third worst poetry in the universe. The book is kind enough to give us an example.

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
With crinkly bindlewurdles,

Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don’t

Click through for slightly more detail here.

People all over the world celebrate Hitchhiker’s Guide and its author. As a result, you’ll find Vogon Poetry translated into all manner of Earth languages.  More examples of Vogon Poetry in English here and here. There is also a Vogon Poetry generator of sorts.  Here’s one it came up with for me.

vogon poetry book
poetry books for middle school
stretch ear infection
natural remedy
for a broken heart
explain escape the fate
deliver night season 3
start 4 episode 1
ask episode 16 the proton in chemistry
the proton in chemistry
a mole of something is an amount that
is anxiety considered a disability
in reading is sometimes referred to as
selecting official for consideration
employ official forms of id
ser and estar
Another way to write Vogon poetry yourself – Using your word processing program, type an entry in complete gibberish. Then use spellcheck to translate it into real words, deleting the ones that have no definition. Here’s my first go at it, with some artistic formatting after the fact.
weirs without wry kiwi working kiwi sis, quip

Werner welkin lower kills kills onto jute

wreak wrap town – swift Sitka balm woke

lend skew with papaw mewls
welt saw

weep so wrong

twang size, we null my kop mist

bison query grope

kith up bald shove – ah – ashen aye devisal parsifal waiver!

as jokers

suds kept

setback, fake snow digests silken set lines, as far then erasing

jokes dashed


I actually kinda like it. You know, in a gibberishy-poem kind of way. And if you found this entertaining, then you might like Lewis Carroll’s poetry too.  Share some of

Image result for vogon poetry image

your best Vogon poems!


Happy birthday, Coral!

One thought on “Vogon Poetry: In Honor of a 42nd Birthday


    United in vogon diarrhea of spittle worded jargoon
    Tempted with confusion like a salacious old buffoon
    What’s the sense in idle dawdle in our irrational world
    Confining thoughts deep within awaiting to be unfurled

    All vogons on this Friday have awoken my confusion
    My head is spinning phrases in heightened disillusion
    Vowels chasing consonants spinning nonsensical thought
    Regurgitating self-inflicted shame with slimy vogon rot

    Churning, bubbling burning from deep within my soul
    Escaping without warning from a hypergolic swoul
    Gimbled minesweeping garble dispatched like bucket slop
    From splattered pigwash effluent of a nearby ugly shop

    Despicable heinous wickedness seeping out in verse
    As flagitious text assembles it flares our vogon curse
    Thoughts concealed till Friday will sequester up a mess
    A crucial misalignment for a disoriented vogon press

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.