Vogon Poetry: In Honor of a 42nd Birthday

My friend Coral turns 42 today. She decided to have herself a Image result for vogon poetry image -band -musicDouglas Adams/Hitchhiker’s Guide birthday party, and, among other things, invited people to recite Vogon Poetry if they’d like.

“What, exactly, is Vogon Poetry?”, you may ask.  And if you are asking, then you obviously have not read that Douglas Adams classic, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Wherein we learn that Vogon Poetry is the third worst poetry in the universe. The book is kind enough to give us an example.

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
With crinkly bindlewurdles,

Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don’t

Click through for slightly more detail here.

People all over the world celebrate Hitchhiker’s Guide and its author. As a result, you’ll find Vogon Poetry translated into all manner of Earth languages.  More examples of Vogon Poetry in English here and here. There is also a Vogon Poetry generator of sorts.  Here’s one it came up with for me.

vogon poetry book
poetry books for middle school
stretch ear infection
natural remedy
for a broken heart
explain escape the fate
deliver night season 3
start 4 episode 1
ask episode 16 the proton in chemistry
the proton in chemistry
a mole of something is an amount that
is anxiety considered a disability
in reading is sometimes referred to as
selecting official for consideration
employ official forms of id
ser and estar
Another way to write Vogon poetry yourself – Using your word processing program, type an entry in complete gibberish. Then use spellcheck to translate it into real words, deleting the ones that have no definition. Here’s my first go at it, with some artistic formatting after the fact.
weirs without wry kiwi working kiwi sis, quip

Werner welkin lower kills kills onto jute

wreak wrap town – swift Sitka balm woke

lend skew with papaw mewls
welt saw

weep so wrong

twang size, we null my kop mist

bison query grope

kith up bald shove – ah – ashen aye devisal parsifal waiver!

as jokers

suds kept

setback, fake snow digests silken set lines, as far then erasing

jokes dashed

 

I actually kinda like it. You know, in a gibberishy-poem kind of way. And if you found this entertaining, then you might like Lewis Carroll’s poetry too.  Share some of

Image result for vogon poetry image

your best Vogon poems!

 

Happy birthday, Coral!

Happy Birthday, Richard Scarry

Richard Scarry’s “Best Word Book Ever” was one of the first books I ever read that wasn’t in English – mine was the French “Le Livre des Mots”. My mom learned French in high school and college, and did what she could to keep it up. One of the things she did was read to me in French. It’s part of what got me taking French in school too. That book is one of the handful I still have from the first house I remember living in.

IMG_7352

Books illustrated/written by Richard Scarry

12 facts about Richard Scarry

I just had a quick look through my book. It’s from before some of the cultural changes were made – it still features a “cowboy”, an “indian”, and several “traditional” gender roles that have since been updated in newer publications.

This book is *not* in the Little Free Library. I’m gonna hang onto this one for a good long while!

June Author Birthdays

happy birthday pile of books

June Author Birthdays!

June 1

Colleen McCullough

 

June 2

Thomas Hardy

Dorothy West

Barbara Pym

Carol Shields

Jack Gantos

Norton Juster

Helen Oxenbury

 

June 3

Allen Ginsburg

Larry McMurtry

Anita Lobel

 

June 4

Jacque Roumain

 

June 5

Federico Garica Lorca

Richard Scarry

Margaret Drabble

Ken Follett

Allan Ahlberg

 

June 6

Aleksandr Pushkin

Thomas Mann

Maxine Kumin

Cynthia Rylant

 

June 7

Gwendolyn Brooks

Nikki Giovanni

Louise Erdish

 

June 8

Carolyn Meyer

Judy Sierra

 

June 9

Patricia Cornwell

 

June 10

Saul Bellow

Maurice Sendak

 

June 11

Ben Jonson

Yasunari Kawabata

William Styron

Robert Munsch

 

June 12

Djuna Barnes

Anne Frank

Rona Jaffe

Helen Lester

 

June 13

William Butler Yeats

Dorothy L. Sayers

 

June 14

Harriet Beecher Stowe

John Bartlett

Jerzy Kosinski

John Edgar Wideman

James Gurney

Bruce Degen

Laurence Yep

 

June 15

Brian Jacques

Xaviera Hollander

Elvira Woodruff

 

June 16

John Howard Griffin

Erich Segal

Joyce Carol Oates

 

June 17

James Weldon Johnson

 

June 18

Philip Barry

Gail Goodwin

Chris Van Allsburg

Connie Roop

 

June 19

Blaise Pascal

Tobias Wolff

Salman Rushdie

 

June 20

Charles W. Chestnutt

Lillian Hellman

Vikram Seth

 

June 21

Jean-Paul Sartre

Mary McCarthy

Ian McEwan

Robert Kraus

 

June 22

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Octavia Butler

 

June 23

Anna Akhmatova

David Leavitt

 

June 24

Norman Cousins

Anita Desai

Kathryn Lasky

 

June 25

George Orwell

Eric Carle

 

June 26

Pearl S. Buck

Nancy Willard

Walter Farley

Charlotte Zolotow

 

June 27

Paul Laurence Dunbar

Helen Keller

Lucille Clifton

Alice McDermott

Christina Bjork

Esther Forbes

 

June 28

Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Mark Helprin

Jane Ransom

 

June 29

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

John Toland

Breece Dexter Pancake

Julia Kepes

 

June 30

David McPhail

November author birthdays

Nicholasa Mohr (Nilda, A Matter of Pride and Other Stories)  11/1

Gyo Fujikawa (Millie’s Secret, Welcome is a Wonderful World)  11/3

Sterling North (Rascal, Midnight and Jeremiah)  11/4

Armstrong Sperry (Call It Courage)  11/7

Benjamin Bova (THX 1138 [with George Lucas], The Winds of Altair)  11/8

Marianna Mayer (Vasilisa the Brave, Baba Yaga)  11/8

Bram Stoker (Dracula)  11/8

Kate Seredy (The White Stag)  11/10

Marjorie Benchley (Nate the Great series, Rollo and Juliet)  11/12

Robert Louis Stevenson (Treasure Island) 11/13

Astrid Lindgren (Pippi Longstocking) 11/14

William Steig (Shrek, CDB, Doctor De Soto)  11/14

Nancy Tafuri (Have You Seen My Duckling?)  11/14

David McCord (An Acre for Education, One At a Time) 11/15

Daniel Pinkwater (The Hoboken Chicken Emergency, The Big Orange Splot)  11/15

Miroslav Sasek (This is Paris, Mike and the Modelmakers) 11/18

Carlo Lorenzini – wrote as Carlo Collodi (Pinocchio)  11/24

Sylvia Engdahl (Stewards of the Flame, Journey Between Worlds)  11/24

Yoshiko Uchida (Journey to Topaz: The Story of a Japanese American Evacuation) 11/24

Crescent Dragonwagon (To Take a Dare, The Cornbread Gospels)  11/25

P.D. Eastman (Are You My Mother? Go, Dog, Go!)  11/25

Marc Brown (Arthur series)  11/25

Doris Gates (A Fair Wind for Troy)  11/26

Charles Shulz (Peanuts)  11/26

Tomi Ungerer (Rigor Mortis, The Joy of Frogs) 11/28

Louisa May Alcott (Little Women, Little Men)  11/29

Madeleine L’Engle (A Wind in the Door, A Wrinkle in Time) 11/29

C.S. Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia, The Screwtape Letters)  11/29

Lucy Maud Montgomery (Anne of Green Gables)  11/30

Johnathan Swift (Gulliver’s Travels, A Modest Proposal)  11/30

Mark Twain (A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn)  11/30

October author birthdays

Happy birthday!

Natalie Savage Carlson (The Family Under the Bridge, Runaway Marie Louise)  10/3

Molly Cone (Come Back, Salmon) 10/3

Marilyn Singer (Face Relations: Eleven Stories About Seeing Beyond Color, Several Kinds of Silence) 10/3

Robert Lawson (Ben and Me, They Were Strong and Good, Mr. Revere and I)  10/4

Munro Leaf (The Story of Ferdinand, How to Behave and Why)  10/4

Donald Sobol (Encyclopedia Brown series) 10/4

Louise Fitzhugh (Harriet the Spy, Suzuki Beane)  10/5

Gene Zion (Harry the Dirty Dog)  10/5

Thor Heyerdahl (Kon-Tiki, Aku-Aku: The Secret of Easter Island)  10/6

Lee Kingman (Pierre Pidgeon)  10/6

Alice Dalgiesh (The Courage of Sarah Noble, The Silver Pencil)  10/7

Barthe DeClements (How Do You Lose Those Ninth Grade Blues?)  10/8

Frank Herbert (Dune)  10/8

R.L. Stine (Goosebumps series) 10/8

Johanna Hurwitz (Busybody Nora) 10/9

James Marshall (George and Martha, Miss Nelson is Missing!) 10/10

Arna Bontemps (God Sends Sunday: A Novel, Young Booker: Booker T. Washington’s Early Days)  10/13

Lois Lenski (Phebe Fairchild, Ocean-born Mary) 10/14

Oscar Wilde (The Picture of Dorian Gray, The Importance of Being Earnest)  10/16

Ed Emberley (Ed Emberley’s Big Green Drawing Book; Go Away, Big Green Monster)  10/19

Crockett Johnson (Harold and the Purple Crayon)  10/20

Ursula LeGuin (The Compass Rose, The Wizard of Earthsea)  10/21

Marjorie Flack (Angus and the Ducks, The Story About Ping)  10/23

Steven Kellogg (Pinkerton & Friends, The Pickle Plan) 10/26

Enid Bagnold (National Velvet, The Chalk Garden) 10/27

September author birthdays

Edgar Rice Burroughs (Tarzan, John Carter of Mars)  9/1

Lucretia Hale (The Peterkin Papers) 9/2

Syd Hoff (Danny and the Dinosaur, Sammy the Seal, many other children’s books, political cartoons, and books for adults)  9/3

Anthony Browne (Willy and Hugh, Willy and the Wimp, Bear Hunt)  9/11

Roald Dahl (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, Tales of the Unexpected)  9/13

William H Armstrong (Sounder)  9/14

John Steptoe (Mufaro’s Beautiful Daughters, Mother Crocodile)  9/14

James Fenimore Cooper (Last of the Mohicans, Leatherstocking Tales)  9/15

Tomie DePaola (Strega Nona, Bill and Pete, Oliver Button is a Sissy)  9/15

Robert McCloskey (Make Way for Ducklings, Blueberries for Sal)  9/15

H.A. Rey (Curious George, Katy-No-Pocket)  9/16

Vicki Cobb (Science Experiments You Can Eat, Marie Curie: A Photographic Story of a Life) 9/17

Miska Petersham (7 Stories for Wide-Awakes; A Story Book of the Things We Wear: Wool, Cotton, Silk, Rayon)  9/19

H.G. Wells (The War of the Worlds, The Time Machine, The Island of Dr. Moreau)  9/21

Taro Yashima (Crow Boy, Seashore Story)  9/21

Jane Curry (Back in the Beforetime, Mindy’s Mysterious Miniature, Abaloc series)  9/24

Wilson Rawls (Where the Red Fern Grows, Summer of the Monkeys)  9/24

Paul Goble (Iktomi and the Berries: A Plains Indian Story; The Boy and his Mud Horses)  9/27

Bernard Waber (Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile; The House on East 88th Street)  9/27

Kate Douglas Wiggin (Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm)  9/28

Stan Berenstain (The Berenstain Bears series)  9/29

Edgar D’Aulaire (Norse Gods and Giants, Trolls) 9/30