My friend Coral turns 42 today. She decided to have herself a Douglas Adams/Hitchhiker’s Guide birthday party, and, among other things, invited people to recite Vogon Poetry if they’d like.
“What, exactly, is Vogon Poetry?”, you may ask. And if you are asking, then you obviously have not read that Douglas Adams classic, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Wherein we learn that Vogon Poetry is the third worst poetry in the universe. The book is kind enough to give us an example.
Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
With crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don’t
Click through for slightly more detail here.
People all over the world celebrate Hitchhiker’s Guide and its author. As a result, you’ll find Vogon Poetry translated into all manner of Earth languages. More examples of Vogon Poetry in English here and here. There is also a Vogon Poetry generator of sorts. Here’s one it came up with for me.
vogon poetry bookpoetry books for middle schoolstretch ear infectionnatural remedyfor a broken heartexplain escape the fatedeliver night season 3start 4 episode 1ask episode 16 the proton in chemistrythe proton in chemistrya mole of something is an amount thatis anxiety considered a disabilityin reading is sometimes referred to asselecting official for considerationemploy official forms of idser and estar
weirs without wry kiwi working kiwi sis, quip
Werner welkin lower kills kills onto jute
wreak wrap town – swift Sitka balm woke
lend skew with papaw mewls
weep so wrong
twang size, we null my kop mist
bison query grope
kith up bald shove – ah – ashen aye devisal parsifal waiver!
setback, fake snow digests silken set lines, as far then erasing
I actually kinda like it. You know, in a gibberishy-poem kind of way. And if you found this entertaining, then you might like Lewis Carroll’s poetry too. Share some of
your best Vogon poems!
Happy birthday, Coral!
Sometimes it takes more than just talking to get your ideas and feelings out. Some people make music, some people draw or paint or sculpt. Poetry is a way to use your words to make pictures in other people’s heads. Juan Felipe Herrera is a former US Poet Laureate (2015-2017)