Opening soon: Rose City Book Pub

The old County Cork pub in Northeast Portland neighborhood is closing. In its place? Rose City Book Pub, Portland’s first bookstore bar.

Wait, did you say “bookstore bar?”

Well, yes, and it’s exactly what it sounds like, a working bookstore that happens to pour beer and wine. As noted by Eater PDX, which broke the bar news last week, this will be Portland’s first such establishment, joining Boston’s Trident Cafe, the Spotty Dog in Hudson, or Afterwords in Washington, D.C.

Owned by Northeast Portland native Elise Schumock, the new pub will add built-in bookshelves, hidden nooks and a “cafe-style menu” to the already charming County Cork space. The bar will feature Northwest spirits and around 20 taps for beer and wine.

The bookstore side of things will feature children’s books and used literature, including books from Schumock and her parents’ own collections.

Look for Rose City Book Pub to open Oct. 14 in the former home of County Cork, 1329 N.E. Fremont St.; rosecitybookpub.com

— Michael Russell

Bad Jokes & Quotes

If we didn’t have libraries, many people thirsty for knowledge would dehydrate. — Megan Jo Tetrick, age 12

Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book. — Kin Hubbard

Never lend books, for no one ever returns them. The only books I have in my library are books that other folks have leant me. — Anatole France

Life happened because I turned the pages. — Alberto Manguel

There’s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. — Flannery O’Connor

Someday I hope to write a book where the royalties will pay for the copies I give away. — Clarence Darrow

Never judge a book by its movie. — J.W. Eagan

There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it. — Bertrand Russell

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. — Tom Clancy

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. — Jerry Seinfield

Vogon Poetry: In Honor of a 42nd Birthday

My friend Coral turns 42 today. She decided to have herself a Image result for vogon poetry image -band -musicDouglas Adams/Hitchhiker’s Guide birthday party, and, among other things, invited people to recite Vogon Poetry if they’d like.

“What, exactly, is Vogon Poetry?”, you may ask.  And if you are asking, then you obviously have not read that Douglas Adams classic, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Wherein we learn that Vogon Poetry is the third worst poetry in the universe. The book is kind enough to give us an example.

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
With crinkly bindlewurdles,

Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don’t

Click through for slightly more detail here.

People all over the world celebrate Hitchhiker’s Guide and its author. As a result, you’ll find Vogon Poetry translated into all manner of Earth languages.  More examples of Vogon Poetry in English here and here. There is also a Vogon Poetry generator of sorts.  Here’s one it came up with for me.

vogon poetry book
poetry books for middle school
stretch ear infection
natural remedy
for a broken heart
explain escape the fate
deliver night season 3
start 4 episode 1
ask episode 16 the proton in chemistry
the proton in chemistry
a mole of something is an amount that
is anxiety considered a disability
in reading is sometimes referred to as
selecting official for consideration
employ official forms of id
ser and estar
Another way to write Vogon poetry yourself – Using your word processing program, type an entry in complete gibberish. Then use spellcheck to translate it into real words, deleting the ones that have no definition. Here’s my first go at it, with some artistic formatting after the fact.
weirs without wry kiwi working kiwi sis, quip

Werner welkin lower kills kills onto jute

wreak wrap town – swift Sitka balm woke

lend skew with papaw mewls
welt saw

weep so wrong

twang size, we null my kop mist

bison query grope

kith up bald shove – ah – ashen aye devisal parsifal waiver!

as jokers

suds kept

setback, fake snow digests silken set lines, as far then erasing

jokes dashed

 

I actually kinda like it. You know, in a gibberishy-poem kind of way. And if you found this entertaining, then you might like Lewis Carroll’s poetry too.  Share some of

Image result for vogon poetry image

your best Vogon poems!

 

Happy birthday, Coral!