12 More Book Dedications to Make You Smile
by Kath May 5, 2019 from For Reading Addicts
Previously, we brought you a blog of 10 book dedications that we thought you might like. They were pretty funny, touching, or witty. Today we’re following that up with 12 more book dedications, but this time we’ve gone for pure humour!
Here are 12 book dedications almost guaranteed to raise a chuckle or two, and the books they come from.
This joke continues through the book series too
As I said before, Dad doesn’t read fiction. He still hasn’t noticed that this thing is dedicated to him. This is Volume Two—let’s see how many more until he catches on.
#3: This is still dedicated to you-know-who, even if he doesn’t.
Maybe we can keep this a secret all the way to the final volume.
#4: My father still hasn’t actually cracked any of the books—so, no, he still hasn’t noticed. I think I’m just going to have to tell him. Maybe I should break it to him gently.
#5: Everyone here who hasn’t had a book dedicated to them, take three steps forward. Whoops, Dad, hang on there for a second…
We hope you enjoyed those!
Are you an author? Do you have an e-book? Want to see it gain readership in the county library?
From the webpage:
Multnomah County Library wants to read your book
From October 17 to December 17, the library will be accepting submissions from local authors who would like to see their work added to the library’s collection. Here’s how it works:
- Publish your e-book on one of the following self-publishing sites * :
- Fill out a submission form telling us about your work.
- The library will purchase a review copy of each submission and library staff members will review them.
- After library staff review submissions, they will add the best ones to the library’s e-book collection on the OverDrive platform, visited by over 5000 MCL patrons every single day.
For this round of submissions, the library will accept memoirs as well as works of fiction, for adults, teens and children. Due to the agreement between OverDrive and the self-publishing sites, the library will not consider submissions of erotica.
Work submitted after the December deadline will not be reviewed during this round of submissions. The library may consider additional local e-books in the future.
Your work will be reviewed by library staff with a wide range of reading interests. Each work will be reviewed independently by two staff members.
* Multnomah County Library has no direct relationship with Smashwords, Draft2Digital, or Kobo Writing Life. The library is not party to any agreement between the author and these web sites. The library will buy the selected titles that are published on these sites through its e-book vendor, OverDrive.
I saw this in my Facebook feed today. After checking its veracity (yep! posted on Nick Bruel’s FB page, and just today, too!), I knew I had to share it. If you are that easily offended, maybe you shouldn’t be working in a library. Or with children. Or, really, anywhere near People.
Dear Mr. Bruel,
My name is W. and I am a library aide at L. Elementary in L, OH. Your books are very popular in my library. It was brought to my attention today by a parent that your books contain symbols ( #%&*@ ) in the dialog that most people would interpret as cuss words. This parent was asked by their child what the symbols meant and the parent had no other explanation. Please tell me that this was not your intention!!! If so, I am going to have to pull your books from my shelf and that is going to make a lot of kids disappointed.
Thank you for inquiring. I embrace this opportunity to clarify this longstanding misconception. I was hoping that it would be obvious from the context of the story, but the symbols ” #%&*@” clearly stand for pineapples.
Personally, I love pineapples, but I have a peculiar relationship with them. I love them, but I can no longer eat them raw because they contain bromelain, a natural meat tenderizer to which I am unusually sensitive. If I eat pineapple, my tongue becomes numb to such a degree that I… I…
I’m sorry. I’m deflecting. I’m trying to distract you into a different topic rather than address the one at hand, and you deserve better than that.
I confess— ” #%&*@” are representative of cuss words. Which cuss words? Well, I leave that to the imagination of the reader as has been tradition for many, many decades. The use of ” #%&*@” has been a comic trope used by cartoonists for almost as long as there have been cartoons. Think Beetle Bailey and Sarge. Andy Capp and Flo. Garfield and Odie. I always imagine that if you were to put into words what Donald Duck was actually saying when he dropped a hammer on his webbed foot, it would look a lot like ” #%&*@”.
This brings us to my offense. I sense you are outraged by my use of ” #%&*@”. That is your right, of course, but I confess that I’m a bit bewildered by it. I’m not actually using cuss words. As you point out yourself, I’m using symbols that represent non-specific cuss words. So is it that you’re offended by my implying that cuss words actually exist? They do, but I didn’t really have anything to do with that. And I suspect that your students already know them. My daughter hears them virtually every time I drive on the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey. Have you ever driven it? It’s just… just horrible. No one uses turn signals. Cars enter from the left and the right. There are tolls all over it. The speed limit for much of it is 55, but if you’re not going 70 you’re taking your life in your hands and… I digress. Sorry.
The point is, my daughter knows these words because of my anxiety ridden death slaloms through New Jersey. As for your students, they didn’t learn them from me.
As to my punishment— I’m sorry you feel the need to remove my books from your shelves. I won’t talk you out of it, because those are your shelves and you should do with them what you feel is best. I’m not too concerned, since I’m fortunate and feel reasonably certain that your students can find my books elsewhere if they were to try hard enough.
I regret that your kids will feel disappointed, but not so much that I feel compelled to change they way I write my books. I imagine that your students will feel disappointed because they LIKE the way I write my books, ” #%&*@” and all. I will say that of all the things that will challenge them in their future readings, my symbols will likely be the least of them. But that’s a good thing. How dull our literature would be if we weren’t exposed to those things that bewilder us, perplex us, and possibly even offend us.
I will say one more thing. When you remove my books from your shelves, rather than dispose of them, I do hope you will consider donating them to another school, another library that might have use of them. But if the thought of exposing students other than yours to the crimes of ” #%&*@” concerns you, then you may send them to me, and I will gladly find them a happy home. I’ll even pay for shipping.
Each year students throughout Oregon and Clark County Washington are invited to create a poster or write a short story portraying part of the Oregon Humane Society’s mission.
70th Annual Be Kind to Animals Poster & Story Contest
Contest is open to all residents of Oregon and Clark County, Washington, entering grades 1st-12th in the fall of 2018.
Step 1: Review the theme for your grade level and entry instructions 2018 OHS Poster and Story Contest Instructions
Step 2: Create your poster and/or write your story based on your grade level theme
Step 3: Print and complete 2018 Poster and Story Entry Slip and glue or tape to the back of your entry (no paperclips, please). Note to Teachers, please include a class list along with your posters and/or stories.
Step 4: Mail or drop off to:
Oregon Humane Society
Attn: Poster and Story Contest
1067 NE Columbia Blvd
Portland, Oregon 97211
For 9th-12th Grade Digital Art Entries: Click here to upload your digital art. Please be sure to read the poster theme prompt for Grades 9-12 before entering your digital art poster.
Contest begins September 1, 2018! Deadline to post mark or drop off posters and/or stories is December 14, 2018. All winners will be notified by January 11, 2019 and will be invited to the A’Cat’Emy Awards. The A’Cat’Emy Awards will be held on Sunday, January 27, 2018 at the Oregon Humane Society.
Poster & Story Contest Prizes
- Grand Prize: Laptop
- Runner Up: $150 Gift Card
- First Place: $100 Gift Card
- Second Place: $75 Gift Card
- Third Place: $50 Gift Card
- Honorable Mention: $25 Gift Card
All winners also receive a special award certificate, ribbon of honor and an invitation to the A’Cat’Emy Awards celebration.
Enter your students’ posters and/or stories by November 1st to receive a $25 Amazon gift card as a thank you for including the Oregon Humane Society in your classroom curriculum.
For More Information
Contact the OHS Education Office at (503) 416-5034 to learn more.